Wrath of that Bitch Thing

I've decided killing Arthas isn't good enough. I mean, when is this senseless violence going to stop? We tried diplomacy. We know he wasn't willing to listen to reason. We tried murder. And it worked... for a whole week. But really, did anyone try throwing a stubborn, opinionated Italian housewife at Arthas? I didn't think so. I'd like to quit my current job and volunteer for this one. I can see it going something like this:

(Door opens)
Bitch: Arthas? Arthas! What are you doing on the computer again?

Arthas: Nothing. Nothing.

Bitch: Are you killing adventurers again? What is it with you?

Arthas: Come on, I had a long day. The Scourge are all up in my shit about their dental plan again. A dental plan! I mean, are they for real?

(waits a beat)

Come on, you don't see the irony there?

Bitch: Oh, so now you want me to do the ironing too? Arthas, just because you came home doesn't mean you don't still have to work. This house doesn't run itself. You think I sit on my ass all day eating chocolates and watching soaps?

Arthas: I didn't say that!

Bitch: But no, you gotta walk in the door, not even a 'hi honey I'm home,' sit your ass down in that chair, and just start with the wholesale slaughter. Is your dinner gonna cook itself? Huh? Is the Dishwasher Fairy gonna clean this crap up for you? For crying out loud, Arthas, are those your socks on your desk?

Arthas: No, I don't know how they got there. (moves socks)

Bitch: Oh my god, what the hell is that cereal bowl doing under your socks? Who's gonna clean the oatmeal out of that now that it's all cemented to the sides? Wait, let me guess, I'm gonna do it because you're too damn lazy to put it in the sink!

Arthas: Sheesh woman, give it a rest.

Bitch: Give it a rest? Give it a rest? That's it. Turn that PC off right now, get your worthless ass in here, and fold your underwear. (leaves room)

Arthas: Okay okay, I'm coming. (surreptitiously taps keys)

Bitch: ARTHAS!

Arthas: (stands up and moves away from keyboard)

Bitch: And buy a damned Mac!




I can totally see that working.