The Westfall Chicken: An Endangered Species

So any good WoW gamer knows about the Westfall Chicken quest, possibly the most fun any newbie ever had. For those unfamiliar with it, let's just say it involves an ungodly amount of clucking at a barnyard bird while various onlookers giggle at your odd behavior.

Once The Ditz realized she could have a pet chicken, obtained in his manner, she was unstoppable. She had to have a chicken. And she wanted it yesterday.

So off we went to Westfall, my silly friend on /follow to avoid having to actually use her minimap, a process that still stresses her out to this day. I explained to her how things worked. I taught her how to make a /chicken macro to spam senselessly until she saw her targeted chicken emote. I was very careful to explain to her that she had to wait to right click on the chicken until there as a speech bubble icon on it, NOT a sword icon. Sword means death. Speech means peace! Happiness! Chicken pet! It's a very basic concept. Think of what might have happened had the White Man waited until the Native Americans had speech bubble icons instead of swords! North America would be a happy place, where we all ran around full of racial tolerance and chicken pets!

K. Anyhow, the point is, I explained it to her in great detail. She smiled, nodded, and then killed the chicken. We stood there silently for a moment, staring at its tiny little corpse. Poor chicken. With a patience I hadn't known I possessed, I explained the whole sword = kill thing to her again.

After a wholesale chicken slaughter which left Farmer Saldean chickenless, The Ditz pet-less, and myself looking forward to a delicious roast later on, we finally had a good solid minute or two to re-apply the theory of diplomatic speech before the next generation of chickens spawned. I used crayons and small words.

This time something must have stuck! Miraculously, The Ditz managed to spam a chicken into a stunned silence and then after a somewhat lengthy pause, which I assume she spent praying, we had success! She clicked a chicken without murdering it!

Choirs of angels sang, a beam of light descended from the heavens, flowers bloomed, children danced, puppies and kitties frolicked together... And, well, she got her pet chicken.

Little did I know it was only the start of a deeper, darker obsession. The tip of the iceberg which took down the Titanic... Azeroth had no idea what was in store for its pet population. For this, I humbly beg forgiveness. I knew not what I had done.